'Bad logo' tax announced

It was easy to miss, but last weeks' Budget had a hidden bombshell for British businesses. The Government has unveiled what has been dubbed a 'Bad Logo' tax. The official title is the 'Clarity, Recognition, Awareness and Profile Standard'. Businesses that fail to meet the standard will be liable to pay an additional tax, which has yet to be agreed.

At a time when the economy is struggling to gain momentum this seems harsh, but the justification is 'effective communication will make businesses more competitive, at home and abroad', according to the minister for Branding, Communication and Social Media, Shirley Knott. 'It will kick start the economy. We want to put pride back into British business, and we think the best way to do that is with quality logos'.

So what does it mean for you?

All Limited Companies registered in the UK will be liable for the new tax, if you fail the assessment process. A software program is being developed to search the internet and analyse the logo of every company in the country against four criteria: Clarity, Recognition, Awareness and Profile. Every logo will be assessed against this CRAP standard and given a score out of a hundred. If your score drops below a certain level you will fail, and be liable to pay the tax.

But don't worry, it's not all bad news. If you fail the test, help is at hand. 'Any company that fails the CRAP test will be eligible for support', says the Minister, Shirley Knott. 'We are recruiting a dedicated team to help failing businesses. Every member of the team can use a computer, and each of them receives an intensive 8 hour training course in Microsoft Word and PowerPoint. They also have access to an extensive library of clip-art. Our CRAP Support will be available for any business that needs it, to ensure their logo meets the CRAP standard.'

It's terrifying isn't it! Imagine if it was true...